Spencer Lanoue
Writing a best man speech can feel like a lot of pressure, especially when you want to honor your friend on their big day without sweating bullets. The good news? You’re not alone in this. Many have stood in your shoes and have lived to tell the tale—and even enjoyed it. Let’s break down the process into manageable steps so you can deliver a speech that’s memorable for all the right reasons.
Know Your Audience
The first step in writing any speech is understanding who you’re addressing. For a best man speech, your audience is a mix of family, friends, and maybe a few strangers. It’s a diverse group, so you’ll want to strike a balance between humor and sincerity. Avoid inside jokes that only a few will understand—your goal is to connect with everyone in the room.
Tips for connecting with your audience:
- Keep it inclusive: Avoid jokes or stories that might alienate parts of the audience. Think broad appeal.
- Mind the tone: Weddings are joyous occasions, so aim for a light, celebratory tone.
- Be respectful: Remember, this is a family event. Keep it clean and respectful.
Example: If you’re tempted to tell that hilarious story from college that involves questionable decisions and a lot of beer, consider whether it might embarrass the couple or confuse the older relatives. Instead, choose a story that shows the groom’s character or your friendship in a positive light.
Start With a Strong Opening
First impressions matter, especially in speechmaking. Your opening sets the tone for the rest of your speech, so it should grab attention right away. You don’t have to start with a joke, but a touch of humor can help ease the nerves.
Ideas for starting your speech:
- A light-hearted joke: “I’ve been told that my speech should be like a mini skirt. Short enough to keep it interesting, but long enough to cover the essentials.”
- A heartfelt quote: “As [Name] and [Name] start their journey together, I’m reminded of the proverb, ‘A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.’”
- A personal touch: “When [Groom’s name] first asked me to be his best man, I was honored. Then I realized I’d have to give a speech, and that honor turned into panic.”
Example of an opening:
"Good evening, everyone. For those who don’t know me, I’m [Your Name], [Groom’s Name]’s best man and lifelong partner in crime. I promise to keep this speech short—mainly because I’m hungry, and there’s cake waiting."
Share a Personal Story
A personal story is the heart of your speech. It’s your chance to show the audience why the groom means so much to you and to highlight his best qualities. Choose a story that paints the groom in a positive light and underscores your friendship.
How to choose the right story:
- Relatable and positive: Select a story that showcases a positive attribute of the groom, like his kindness or sense of humor.
- Keep it concise: Your story should be clear and to the point. Aim for a story that can be told in 2-3 minutes.
- Tie it to the occasion: If possible, connect the story back to the wedding or the couple.
Example of a personal story:
"I remember when [Groom’s Name] and I went on a camping trip. Despite my questionable navigation skills leading us astray, [Groom’s Name] remained patient and optimistic. That’s who he is—always seeing the silver lining and keeping everyone around him calm and happy. It’s no wonder he found someone as wonderful as [Bride’s Name] to share his life with."
Compliment the Bride and Groom
It’s essential to acknowledge both the bride and the groom in your speech. Compliment the couple as a unit and highlight what makes their relationship special. This is where you can add a touch of sincerity to balance out the humor.
Ways to compliment the couple:
- Highlight their strengths: Talk about what makes them a great match.
- Mention their journey: Reflect on how they’ve grown together.
- Express your happiness: Share how happy you are for them.
Example of a compliment:
"[Bride’s Name], you bring out the best in [Groom’s Name]. Together, you two are truly unstoppable. Watching your love grow has been a joy, and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for you both."
Inject Some Humor
Humor can lighten the mood and make your speech memorable. However, it’s crucial to find the right balance—too much humor can overshadow the occasion, while too little might make your speech feel heavy.
Tips for adding humor:
- Self-deprecating jokes: These are usually safe and can endear you to the audience.
- Gentle ribbing: Light teasing of the groom is fine, but make sure it’s good-natured.
- Avoid sensitive topics: Stay clear of anything that might be offensive or controversial.
Example of humor:
"Now, I’ve known [Groom’s Name] for years, and I can confidently say he’s a man of many talents. He can expertly balance a soccer ball on his head, but remembering where he left his car keys? That’s still a work in progress."
Offer Heartfelt Advice
A best man speech is a great opportunity to impart some words of wisdom. This doesn’t have to be deep or profound—sometimes the simplest advice is the most meaningful.
Advice to consider:
- Keep it simple: Advice doesn’t have to be groundbreaking. Simple truths are often the most powerful.
- Draw from experience: If you’re married, share what you’ve learned. If not, consider advice you’ve found valuable in relationships.
- Stay positive: Focus on the positives of marriage and relationships.
Example of advice:
"As you embark on this new journey, remember that the key to a happy marriage is not thinking alike, but thinking together. Always communicate, support each other, and don’t forget to laugh along the way."
Close With a Toast
Wrap up your speech by raising a toast to the couple. This is your chance to bring everything together and leave the audience with a sense of celebration and joy.
How to craft a toast:
- Keep it short: A toast should be brief and to the point.
- Be sincere: End on a heartfelt note that encapsulates your best wishes for the couple.
- Get everyone involved: Invite the audience to join you in toasting the couple.
Example of a toast:
"To [Bride’s Name] and [Groom’s Name], may your life together be filled with love, laughter, and countless adventures. Cheers!"
Practice Makes Perfect
Once you’ve drafted your speech, practice is your best friend. Rehearse in front of a mirror or with friends to get comfortable with your delivery. Practicing will help you manage any nerves and ensure you deliver your speech smoothly.
Tips for practicing:
- Read aloud: Hearing your words can help you catch awkward phrasing or pacing issues.
- Time yourself: Aim for a speech that’s roughly 5-7 minutes long.
- Get feedback: Practicing in front of a trusted friend can provide valuable input.
Handling Nerves
It’s normal to feel nervous, but there are ways to manage your anxiety. Remember, everyone is rooting for you, and a few butterflies can actually enhance your performance.
Strategies to calm nerves:
- Breathe deeply: Take deep breaths to calm your mind and body.
- Focus on the couple: Shift your attention from yourself to the couple you’re celebrating.
- Visualize success: Picture yourself delivering the speech confidently and receiving warm applause.
Final Thoughts
Writing and delivering a best man speech is a wonderful honor that can leave a lasting impression on the couple and their guests. By following these steps, you’ll be well-prepared to give a speech that’s heartfelt, humorous, and unforgettable. And if you ever find yourself stuck or in need of a little creative nudge, Spell can help you brainstorm stories and refine your speech, ensuring it strikes the perfect balance between humor and sincerity. Good luck, and enjoy the celebration!
