Writing

How to Write a Character's Thoughts in Third Person

Spencer LanoueSpencer Lanoue
Writing

Capturing a character's thoughts in third person can add depth and complexity to your writing, making your characters feel more real and relatable. It allows readers to peek inside the characters' minds, providing insight into their motivations, fears, and dreams. So, how do you effectively write a character's thoughts while maintaining a third-person narrative? Let's explore some strategies and techniques to help you master this skill.

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Using Italics for Internal Thoughts

One of the most common methods for indicating a character's internal thoughts is by using italics. This visual cue helps readers differentiate between the narrative and the character's private musings. Italics can be particularly effective for short thoughts or significant realizations.

For example, consider this sentence:

She couldn't believe her eyes. Was this really happening?

In this snippet, the italicized text represents the character's direct thoughts, emphasizing her disbelief. This method allows you to seamlessly integrate thoughts into your narrative without disrupting the flow.

However, it's essential to use italics sparingly. Overusing them can make your text appear cluttered and distract the reader. So, reserve italics for moments when you want to give a strong emphasis on a character's thought process.

Free Indirect Style: Blurring the Lines

Free indirect style is a subtle yet powerful technique that blends the narrator's voice with the character's thoughts. It allows you to convey a character's inner dialogue without explicitly stating, "he thought" or "she wondered."

Consider this example:

Marcy walked through the deserted park, the wind biting at her cheeks. She should've brought a warmer coat. But who would expect such a chill in May?

Here, the narrative smoothly transitions into Marcy's thoughts. The reader is given a glimpse into her mind without the need for italics or dialogue tags. This technique can create a more immersive experience. It maintains the third-person perspective while still delving into the character's inner world.

Dialogue Tags: A Classic Approach

Dialogue tags like "he thought" or "she wondered" are straightforward and reliable for indicating a character's thoughts. They provide clarity, especially in scenes with multiple characters or complex plot developments.

Here's how you might use them:

James watched the sunset, the sky ablaze with colors. He thought about how fleeting such beauty was, a reminder of life's impermanence.

In this example, the thought tag "he thought" clearly signals the shift from narrative to internal reflection. While this method is effective, be cautious not to overuse it, as it can become repetitive and disrupt the narrative flow.

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Maintaining Consistent Voice and Tense

When writing thoughts in third person, it's crucial to maintain a consistent voice and tense. This consistency helps keep the narrative seamless and prevents confusion for the reader.

In third person, thoughts are often expressed in present tense, even if the narrative is in past tense. For instance:

Sarah glanced at the clock. Time was running out. She needed to act fast.

Notice how the thought "Time was running out" is in present tense, aligning with Sarah's immediate perception. This approach aligns the reader with the character's current mindset, enhancing the immediacy of the scene.

Showing, Not Telling

Instead of directly stating a character's thoughts, you can often show them through actions, body language, and context. This method encourages readers to infer what the character is thinking, engaging them more actively in the story.

For example:

Clara slammed the door shut, her hands trembling. She paced the room, biting her lip and casting nervous glances at her phone.

In this scene, Clara's actions and physical reactions convey her anxiety and anticipation without explicitly stating her thoughts. This technique can create a more dynamic and vivid portrayal of a character's internal state.

Balancing Thoughts with Action

A story's pace can suffer if it includes too many internal thoughts without enough action or dialogue. Striking a balance between the two is essential for maintaining reader interest and advancing the plot.

To achieve this balance, try interspersing thoughts with actions or dialogue. For instance:

Tom watched the rain fall, each drop a reminder of his lost opportunities. Maybe tomorrow would be different. He picked up the phone, dialing the number he knew by heart.

In this passage, Tom's thoughts are woven with his actions, creating a more engaging scene. This balance keeps the narrative moving while still providing insight into the character's mindset.

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Avoiding Overly Expository Thoughts

While it's tempting to use internal thoughts to convey backstory or exposition, doing so can lead to info dumps and disrupt the narrative flow. Instead, focus on revealing character thoughts that drive the story forward or add depth to their personality.

For example, instead of:

She thought about her childhood, the endless summers spent at her grandmother's house, the smell of cookies wafting through the air.

Try integrating these memories more naturally through dialogue or action:

As she baked cookies, the familiar aroma filled the kitchen, transporting her back to summers at her grandmother's house.

This approach allows you to convey backstory while keeping the focus on the present action and maintaining narrative momentum.

Using Spell to Enhance Your Writing

Writing character thoughts can be tricky, but tools like Spell can make the process smoother. With its AI-powered features, Spell helps you draft and refine your documents quickly, allowing you to focus on crafting compelling characters and narratives. It can generate initial drafts and offer suggestions for improving your writing, saving you time and effort.

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Practicing with Writing Exercises

Like any skill, writing character thoughts in third person improves with practice. Consider trying these exercises to hone your skills:

  • Write a scene from a third-person perspective, focusing on a character's thoughts during a tense moment. Use italics or free indirect style to convey their internal dialogue.
  • Take a scene you've written and experiment with different methods of showing thoughts. Compare how each approach affects the tone and pace of the narrative.
  • Challenge yourself to write a scene without directly stating any character thoughts. Use actions and dialogue to reveal what's going on in their minds.

These exercises can help you develop a versatile toolkit for writing character thoughts, allowing you to adapt your style to different stories and characters.

Final Thoughts

Writing a character's thoughts in third person can add layers and richness to your storytelling, making your characters more relatable and your narratives more engaging. With these techniques and a bit of practice, you'll be able to seamlessly integrate internal dialogue into your writing. And if you ever find yourself stuck, remember that Spell is here to help you craft high-quality documents quickly and efficiently.

Spencer Lanoue

Spencer Lanoue

Spencer has been working in product and growth for the last 10 years. He's currently Head of Growth at Sugardoh. Before that he worked at Bump Boxes, Buffer, UserTesting, and a few other early-stage startups.