Spencer Lanoue
Getting inside a character's head can be one of the most rewarding aspects of writing fiction. When done right, it pulls readers closer to the characters and offers a window into their internal world. But how exactly do you write a character thinking to themselves without making it feel clunky or forced? Let's break it down, step by step.
Making Thoughts Feel Natural
Writing a character's thoughts is like recreating a conversation with oneself. The key here is to make it feel as natural as possible. If you've ever found yourself deep in thought, you know it's rarely a linear process. Thoughts meander, jump around, and sometimes contradict themselves.
One way to achieve this is by using a stream-of-consciousness style. This method mirrors the unfiltered flow of a character's thoughts and can effectively convey their internal dialogue. However, it’s important to strike a balance. Too much stream-of-consciousness can become overwhelming for the reader.
For example, if your character is pondering a difficult decision, you might write:
Why did I say yes? I’ve always hated those kinds of parties. Maybe it’s because Jane will be there. But then again, she might not even notice I’m around. And what if everyone else is just as boring as last time?
Notice how the thoughts jump around? That’s what gives it authenticity. It reflects how our minds often work. Moving from one idea to another with little warning.
Choosing the Right Style
When portraying a character's internal thoughts, you have several stylistic choices. Deciding on the right one depends largely on the voice and tone of your story.
- Italics: This is a popular choice for direct thoughts. Italics help distinguish the character’s thoughts from the narrative. For instance: Why am I always so awkward in social situations?
- Quotation Marks: Although less common, some writers use quotation marks to indicate thoughts. This can sometimes blur the line between spoken dialogue and thoughts, so use it sparingly.
- Free Indirect Style: This blends the character's thoughts with the narrative voice. It's subtle and can flow seamlessly within the text. For example: He wondered why he was always so awkward in social situations.
Each style has its pros and cons, and choosing the right one can enhance the reading experience. Try experimenting with different styles to see which best fits your narrative voice.
Keeping It Real
One of the main challenges when writing thoughts is keeping them believable. Characters should think in a way that aligns with their personality, background, and current situation. This requires a deep understanding of your character's psyche.
Imagine a character who is a meticulous planner. Their internal dialogue might be structured and organized, reflecting their nature:
First, I’ll review the reports. Then I’ll draft the email. After that, I can finally take a break.
Conversely, a more spontaneous character might have thoughts that are more fragmented:
Okay, report first. Or maybe email? Ugh, I need coffee.
By aligning thoughts with character traits, you can create a more authentic and engaging reading experience.
Balancing Show and Tell
In writing, “show, don’t tell” is a common mantra. However, when it comes to thoughts, telling can be just as powerful as showing. The trick is to find a good balance.
Showing involves painting a picture through the character's actions, expressions, or environment:
Her fingers trembled as she reached for the phone. The thought of calling him left a knot in her stomach.
Telling might look like this:
She was terrified of calling him.
Both approaches have their place. Showing can add layers to a scene, while telling can succinctly convey a character’s feelings. Use each method to complement the other, enhancing the depth of your story.
Avoiding Info Dumps
It can be tempting to use a character's thoughts as a way to provide backstory or exposition. However, doing so can lead to info dumps that bog down the narrative. Instead, weave in information naturally and sparingly.
Let’s say you need to convey that a character has had a difficult past. Instead of a lengthy internal monologue, you could write:
She hesitated, memories of past betrayals flickering through her mind like ghosts at the edge of a dream.
This approach informs the reader without overwhelming them with details. It hints at a deeper story, inviting the reader to learn more as the narrative unfolds.
Using Thoughts to Build Tension
Character thoughts are a powerful tool for building tension. They allow readers to anticipate events, feel the character's anxiety, and understand their motivations.
Consider a suspenseful situation where a character is about to confront a villain:
What if he doesn’t believe me? What if he sees through my bluff? I have to stay calm. I can do this.
Here, the character’s thoughts reveal their internal struggle, creating a sense of urgency and heightening the tension for the reader.
Reflecting Character Growth
Character thoughts can also reflect growth and change over time. As characters evolve, their internal dialogue should too. This reflects their journey and the lessons they've learned.
For a character who starts off timid and later gains confidence, you might show this progression through their thoughts:
Earlier: I can’t speak up. What if I’m wrong?
Later: I have something to say, and it’s important.
These subtle shifts in thought patterns can powerfully illustrate character development.
Keeping Thoughts Concise
While internal thoughts can add depth, it’s important to keep them concise. Lengthy internal monologues can slow the pace and lose reader interest.
Think of character thoughts as seasoning to a dish—enough to enhance the flavor but not so much that it overpowers the main course. Ensure that each thought serves a purpose, whether it’s revealing character traits, motivations, or advancing the plot.
Integrating Thoughts Naturally
Integrating thoughts into the narrative without disrupting the flow is crucial. They should feel like a seamless part of the story, not an interruption.
One way to achieve this is by using transitions that link thoughts to the external action. For example:
She glanced at the clock—still ten minutes to go. Just ten more minutes, she told herself. I can handle this.
This approach ties internal thoughts to the character’s actions, maintaining narrative momentum.
Final Thoughts
Writing a character thinking to themselves opens up a world of storytelling opportunities. Whether you’re capturing their innermost fears or their humorous side, the key is to make it feel real and relatable. As you practice and refine this skill, tools like Spell can help streamline your process, allowing you to focus more on creativity and less on mechanics.
